If you've never heard of Agna Kulitaite – get to know her. She is one of the most daring social networks whose "nude" thoughts and candid photos no longer surprise those close to her. The girl is not afraid to boldly think about her body, stereotypes, old age, endless conflicts between women and men. Sometimes her foot followers are triggered by a photograph taken of each other in the discussion box, in which a girl poses under the cover of a thin tree branch, but such is Agnes, critical, extravagant and strong.
But few know that a girl at school has endured the bullying that is still happening in her dreams today. She had to fight for a place under the sun, because no one else put her under her feet. She still learns to love herself, her body and is doing well. "The perception that you will not succeed, you will not be fascinated by everyone and the understanding that the main person you need to love and love is yourself is the key to happiness with yourself," says Amnesty.
– Agni, what are your days like?
– As my days get cold, my feet look for warm socks every night (laughs). Oh, if it's not about the weather, I'm alive, I'm in a hurry and I stop. Currently I work on several projects: I am a project manager at Benedict Depth Assistance Fund and its business manager in Lithuania, as well as a sales manager at SEEN and freelance, I often work on marketing projects.
Despite the amount of work I enjoy, I can manage my time – setting my own schedule, trying to avoid abuse, being disciplined, and not really going to bed until lunch, but if I lack productivity in the middle of the day I like it that freedom.
– Social networks can often pread yours, you might say, really bold thoughts. What inspires you?
– Often my mind is shaped by the environment in which I am. If my thoughts are bold, not polished, then obviously the surroundings. Everything can be inspired by me – dream, food, air, people, past and present. To be brief, I am inspired by life itself and all its components.
Photo: Neringa Rekašiūtė / Agnė Kulitaitė
– You have formed a really big army of fans over a long period of time, not only girls, but guys are constantly following you. Am I afraid to share intimate details of life, you think? After all, you become very open this way.
– Although I like to dress before the lens, I have never been completely naked in social space. Fear is a constant companion of my path, but sometimes the desire that follows is stronger than that. There were times when I was burnt out expressing my voices aloud, but not as a failure but as a lesson.
– Have you set boundaries between what you can and can't post on social networks?
– In the past I have been a constant advocate of boundaries for myself in different situations, but life has taught me that the more I draw the boundary, the more likely I am to cross it in the short term. Less conspiracy, more thinking, I follow this idea.
– What would you dare to post on social networks?
– Basketball match reviews because I have absolutely no knowledge in this area.
– What is the price of consciousness? Need to sacrifice something?
– I am a little skeptical about that notoriety in Lithuania. We are a really small country. Just go to the Vilnius Club and you'll be at least a little connected to every person there. I think that becoming famous in Lithuania is not very difficult and at a price, it is relatively lower than in the real world.
Maybe part of the question about donations would be about the insanity of the social network that beat the highest number possible in our country (Indre Soncuvine, Caroline Mechino …). The price I usually pay is in the form of harsh comments, frequent criticism, nasty or foul gossip. But I can't get mad because I always knew where I was going.
Photo: Neringa Rekašiūtė / Agnė Kulitaitė
– Not only do you share intimate notes on social networks, but you also open photo sessions. What helps you get out of your comfort zone and boldly mount photo lenses?
– I think the biggest impulse for me to participate in this kind of photo session is my desire to get rid of the taboos, norms and rules that our society has when it comes to physical education. Such images are an expression of my freedom and acceptance of myself. A kind of virtual manifesto that says I accept myself, my body, in which I live. Without any luxury clothing, handbags or jewelry that allows us to hide and close often, only our skin is covered with bones. It is not about vulgarity, but about freedom.
– Why did you decide to immerse yourself in such photos?
– I remember my first such open photo session. I felt uncomfortable. It was easy to take off your clothes, the hardest part was surpassing yourself and perfectionism. This time I covered it and when I sat down and saw pieces of belly, I asked for a piece of cloth so I could cover it. This time I was attending a photo session because I didn't like much and the photographer was trying to convince me that the photos will help you to see yourself again and to love yourself. Although the tide of death did not see the result in my heart, I did not shake as I looked at the photographs in rows, only smiling and silent. I think it was the beginning of a friendship with yourself.
– When it comes to openness and displaying the naked body, such photos were previously considered obscene and received considerable criticism. Not afraid of comments from older people, friends?
– Older people need to understand that times are changing, and people are changing, and if you delve deeper into history, you would find more than just an example of nudity in antiquity, art history and you should not seek significant nudity. Violeta Bubeliti is a famous woman in Soviet Lithuania who wanted to be photographed naked. V. Bubelytė began with shy experiments, and later quickly turned to self-acting as clearly defined expressions in personal creation. You can admire its menu at the MoD Museum or Prospect Gallery.
And not only did Violeta show her nakedness, photographer Romantas Dichavicius released his entire nude photo album, Rings between Rings. At the time, it generated enormous public interest, not only in our country but also abroad.
– How do your relatives, parents, friends react to such photos? What comments do you have on social networking profiles?
– Parents are parents who saw the first pictures that shook them and asked what kind of nonsense I came across. Now he only shudders after seeing a new photo, knows he has no sense of morality and will not control his lonely daughter on the matter. Friends are used to it, I'm not talking about photo sessions, I'm not asking what they think. I think they accept me as I am – after all, I'm not just naked with my body. Your friends are there to drop all the coats, sweaters and tops that hide your true self.
On social media, frequent photos are accompanied by compliments, but bad, offensive comments are also known to me. But to people who let me be called a whore or another woman offensive word, without anger, I don't give a virtual eyebrow back – you might assume their life is so gloomy.
– Are there days when reading negative comments involves sadness, negative emotions?
– I'm not going to lie. However, as I do right now, I try not to concentrate and distance myself from gossip, criticism or rugs, it really works for me. After all, I'm just a human being – I have feelings, I feel weak, I go through bad days, sometimes full of nasty feelings or sadness. I'm strong enough and weak enough (smiles).
Some of the comments I pay attention to, encourage me to ask questions, get the right comments, and sometimes help me understand my mistakes. Other people aim to offend. After reading these comments, I feel like adding shit to my mouth makes it all day long, until you finally go to bed and forget about it the next morning. Ironically, for a moment you forget a good word and carry a bad word with you.
– In today's world, while making every effort to spread the message that all women are beautiful, the stereotype that a slender woman is more beautiful remains. How do you rate them?
– These are frameworks that put a lot of pressure on women. The fashion industry dictates the terms very much, and the same men make a big difference. For a long time I was also led by a stereotypical champion, but I began to get interested in feminism, women's rights, the beauty and history of matriarchal society and, in later centuries, the oppression of women. I realized that change cannot be expected, it has to be shown and talked about. We are the change. While this attitude sounds ironic to a girl's lips, even I'm too dense by prevailing perfect measurement standards.
Photo: Neringa Rekašiūtė / Agnė Kulitaitė
– Do you fight against complex ones alone?
– Yes, I'm a very complex girl, I eat McDonald's complexes all the time (laughs). And seriously, complexities, fears and inferiority have been accompanying me since I was a teenager. It seems that as little children we are so restless, free and behold, life throws you into teenage age and destroys all freedom.
Emotional changes are also greatly influenced by the physical. Maturation begins, the body changes rapidly, hormones shake, and the teenager's face begins to be adorned with red accessories. At the time, we feel rebellious, grown up, even though we are very vulnerable. Because of hormone metabolism and as a result of the organism's desires, we forget about childhood friendships and start judging each other in appearance. Often, teenagers are extremely sensitive and unconditionally believe that these estimates are correct.
When I was a teenager, I was going through a difficult time: my body looked so clumsy, alien, and that alone led to a lack of self-confidence at the time. Later, I entered the lion for abuse, and I was thinnest and highest in the class. That my classmates didn't laugh at the time. He said his legs were like jackals, his lips spread all over his face, horribly disproportionate, oversized frog eyes and "rough" outlines. And here, I don't really create, but I quote what I remember.
I think this period of adolescence is a very important foundation in our personality. We carry a lot of psychological, emotional problems from that into the adult world. It is my pleasure to talk more about the effects of bullying and combating it at school. Unfortunately, I didn't have any protection or protection during the bullying itself – the teachers ignored it, I didn't tell my parents for a long time, and later I changed school. It seemed like a new life with the new school, but the shadows of the past and the feeling of insecurity went hand in hand. Even now, sometimes I feel them, sometimes I have nightmares. To forget this, I look for absolute love for myself in many ways: a compliment, a more complicated outfit, dating or other self-popularity. My psychotherapist also helps me with that.
– What do you think can be called beautiful?
– I am soep. First of all, I am a beautiful person who is interested not only in myself but also in the world around him. Big muscles and even the most beautiful breasts always hug me if they speak only nasty words and weak language. Beauty, both physical and internal, is a subjective matter. Knowing that you will not be able to satisfy everyone, you will not be fascinated by all, and understanding that the main person you need to love and be yourself is the key to happiness with yourself. After all, being happy is the biggest decoration. And yes, this is my biggest aspiration right now.